I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize