so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
did you just send me my own nude
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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