Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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