i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
