I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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