I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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