Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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