If i come over, it means nothing
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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