eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize