He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
