whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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