well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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