I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
