Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
