It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
