My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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