were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
