A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
