her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize