your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
