were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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