but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
