Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
