I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
