The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
