You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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