walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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