I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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