They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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