I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
