ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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