Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The power of my boobs compel you
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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