but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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