She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
