anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
