My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize