We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
