is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
