We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize