That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
