I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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