Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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