We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
