Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
