Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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