I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
