..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
