I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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