what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it hurts more in the daytime
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize