She is in my trunk
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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