Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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