He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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