I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
