I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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