Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
