Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
