He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
