Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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