You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
