dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How naked do you want me to be?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
