thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Still dying that you shit outside
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
