Dual....:-)
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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